Have you noticed that they turned from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”?
So, I don’t understand, are you two sex friends or just in an open relationship?
If we’re not in an official relationship, why can’t I see other people?
Mark Zuckerberg might have lengthened the black and white list of formal status (married/ not married), but the complications risen from a simple changing of an option in social media is just the tip of the iceberg for the serious chaos happening in real life. Like I told one of my friends who was on a break from her boyfriend and thus considered the chance to flirt with a single guy, when he stood her up, single life is like a jungle. It may not be the crazy, troubled, highly unbelievable things you read or see in Sex and the City, for example, but similarities do exist in the universe I’m currently occupying.
I was watching Friends with Kids, which I’ve been waiting for quite anxiously for a few months and a couple of days later It’s Complicated and it just occurred to me that, well, things are kind of complicated.
In Friends with Kids, two best friends decide to have a child together, so they can avoid the side effects that off springs brought on their friends marriages. Written and directed by Jennifer Westfeld, the movie deals sharply and accurately with issues, not only romantic, of our times. What’s great about it is that it starts out like a mature, cleverly funny piece, unlike No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits, and it falls short on authenticity and spirit when it descends in the abyss of romantic cliches of the above cited movies. It also ranks high thanks to Chris O’Dowd funny bits, the tolerable (for once) Megan Fox and the dramatic performance of Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm.
Directed by Nancy Meyers (What Women Want, The Holiday), It’s Complicated is meant to be the reassurance pill for middle aged women that they can still find independence and love even after divorce and turning 40/50. For the younger crowd, the part who can tolerate affairs between people twice their age, it’s just proof that the web of feelings may never get untangled. The heroine. Jane, is played by Meryl Streep, who blesses her children and her work with a loving smile, while sharing the nostalgia of having a man in her life only with her very close friends. The narrative is triggered not only by a male character, but by two: her ex-husband with whom she shares a couple of drinks and a few hours of passion on the previous night of their son’s graduation (macho-ly played by Alec Baldwin) and the architect responsible for building her new kitchen (Steve Martin). Caught in the middle, Jane has to figure things out in order to keep both her cool independence and her bed hot.
So, in both examples, the stubborn heart and/or head want what they want. As in real life, I don’t think problems appear from not knowing what choice to make, it’s always difficult to choose that path you really want to take. “Denial” is the key word for at least of one of the partners: from two sex friends, one of them wants more, from an open relationship, one wishes to be in a serious relationship etc. There are a lot of social factors which contributed to these changes: women’s emancipation, capitalism etc. Personally, I imagine things have always been complicated, the only difference is that now we have the freedom to choose, complain, try and loose. The way things go isn’t set anymore. What it seems never changes is the fall into romantic dream and the desire to find the perfect loved one.